Visiting Borneo

We're off to Borneo soon for a month or so. So far we've booked 4 nights in Singapore, 10 in Kuching, 4 in Mulu, 4 in Danum Valley, 6 in Kinabatangan and oh the joy 10 nights in Kota Kinabalu.

Don't know what I've done but for most of the trip we are staying in national park accommodation .. very basic. At Bako the toilets don't flush and you have to tip water into (dunno what we sit on actually ... hope its high enough or my leg muscles wont hold me up ... and then oh god I'll fall into....) the hole but they don't provide you with water because the National Park is a bit dry atm lol. Then there are the macaques who are downright mean and steal your stuff. Given there are large gaping holes in the screens of all the rooms we won't be taking much luggage. They can take Michael's trekking socks coz they'll make the room unbearable anyway.

Amelia was frightened to hear about the large apes and asked what would happen if one abducted her up a tree. Despite her light weight (making her easy to transport) and orange hair (almost orangutan-like) I assured her they would return her immediately once they realised how hard it is to get her to eat and how many toys she desperately needs to keep her happy. She thought about that for a while, nodded and thought it made good sense. My theory ... no decent ape would take my girl if they knew what they were in for.

Ok sounds a bit basic but its the leeches that really terrify me. I hate needles so I'm hardly likely to be inspired by any blood sucking bugger attaching itself to any part of my body. Some intrepid traveller was bitten by one on his stomach. He was pissed because it wouldn't stop bleeding for a week (leeches release an anticoagulant) and it wrecked his expensive tshirt. Damn ...if I have to pry one off my darling daughter I'll go quietly hysterical.

That being said (distraction needed)... I took Mia to the museum during the holidays and we happened upon the Borneo exhibition. Amelia was terrified .. ok the organgutans looked bigger than expected but I doubt we'll have an Asian elephant, rhino, male and female orang, 5 species of macaque, bearded pigs, wild boar, probiscus monkey and gibbons all together in 6 square metres! Plus they were up on a stand (she says trying to stay calm). Her sympathetic gf suggested she stay with them while we are away but nope ... all for one and one for all.

On the upside I've found some great homestays and eco huts to stay in. So for all you doubting Thomases that think you know me well and are giggling and thinking I can't live without life's little luxuries .. you're in for a surprise. Coz unless I'm attacked by a man eating crocodile .... I'll never confess to having a crap time.